My mom insists she didn't intend for our heart to heart to take this kind of turn
Shannon: Well if being inoculated makes you rest easier, you're welcome for being tortured by the doctor.
Mom: Yes, I feel like I've done my job as a mother.
Shannon: Not quite. Not even that cervical cancer shot can keep me from going out and getting knocked up, you know.
Mom: Oh, please, you the girl who doesn't like the nasal spray stuck up her nose having stuck-
(WOW!)
Too Hard
Shannon: FUCK MY LIFE
Shannon: i'm trying to enjoy some delicious starbursts
Shannon: but they're all ridiculously hard (LULZ) and not soft and delightful.
Janice: this may be the only occasion when you didn't want something to be hard in your mouth rather than soft and juicy.
Don’t come inside my burning bush!
“
| — | My former English teacher, Mr. R, to his freshman class on Genesis. (He didn’t know why everyone burst into laughter and he then got really angry.) |
Girls Smell Good
Shaan: Wait, so why is it socially acceptable for girls to kiss each other?
Ryan M: 'Cause they smell good!
Shaan: That's why?
Shannon: Well you've been to Bath & Body Works... they're pumping those places full of pheromones.
Ryan M: So THAT'S why I have a hard on whenever I leave that place!
