It’s okay, I don’t have ‘deep’ dreams, either. I have this recurring one that the baby is a hamster.
“
| — | Mrs W, my pregnant Comparative Religions teacher |
SCREW YOU, FITZGERALD/bitching of a procrastinating student
Procrastinating my paper for English on The Great Gatsby.
We’re only supposed to turn in drafts for completion grades tomorrow, so 1/4 of the juniors at my high school are currently doing search and replaces on papers about “The Odyssey,” “Macbeth,” and “Catcher in the Rye” and replacing Odysseus with Gatsby, Banquo with Nick, and all those freaking phonies with all those freaking drunks.
Like many a warrior, Indra is also somewhat rambunctious, not above getting a little weight and throwing his weight around.
“
| — | “The Major Religions” (my text book for Comparative Religions. It’s very cas.) |
What makes The Nuclear Family so special? Well, just like a real nuclear isotope, it’s incredibly stable. Plus, it’s a convenient shorthand for referring to a group of individuals. Think how much time it would take if we had to name each individual instead of simply saying “The Johnsons.” That’s time we could be spending with our families.
“
| — | I Am America (and So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert (I’m using this in my English Free Response on the American Dream) |
Don’t come inside my burning bush!
“
| — | My former English teacher, Mr. R, to his freshman class on Genesis. (He didn’t know why everyone burst into laughter and he then got really angry.) |
I almost quoted "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails while talking about yoga in World Religions today
We kept talking about how yoga is supposed to help people get closer to Brahman/God, and all about kinda removing yourself from the moment, and, well, the song does go “You get me closer to God… you’re the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself”.
But since I doubt people would be able to overlook the “I wanna fuck you like an animal” part of the song, I abstained from referencing it.
Don't read Catcher in the Rye for more than an hour at a time
Reading a story from the perspective of a nut job makes you feel like you’re totally losing touch.
And I’m seriously thinking I might be right now.
That, or I just ended up connecting way more than I expected with the story. No, it’s definitely that because of the book I’m going crazy.
“I’m so angry. The other class got the cool Catcher in the Rye cover. Ours is like, Catcher in the Rye: Gay Pride edition.”
-Ben
APUSH! APUSH it real good.
(My AP US History teacher is around 70 years old. And today's class totally OWNED.)
-
Mr. D: Now why would John Adams, a guy from Massachusetts want George Washington, a Virginian to lead the army?
Kid #1: 'Cause he hated John Hancock?
Mr. D: No.
Kid #2: Because they're friends?
Mr. D: No.
Shannon: Maybe John Adams WANTED to be George Washington's friend.
Mr. D: Uh, no. That sounds kinda kinky, don't you think? 'Hey, I wanna be you friend.'
Mr. D: You guys still aren't getting it.
