Teaching yourself new ways to battle anxiety is as physically taxing as any workout is.

Well, at least as taxing as the workouts I was subjected to in high school P.E. … the workouts that had to be watered down for me because my heart rate would shoot up to 180. LOL good times.

But since my anxiety sometimes manifests physically exclusively, I have to try to teach my body to calm it the f— down. Rational thought process bullshit alone won’t cut it.

Ughhh.

Am I an adult now?

My dad, KING of the passive aggressive and/or professional letter writing said he knows whatever I write will be great.

This is literally the biggest compliment my father can give me.

Too much productivity today. Too many phone calls. Too many mood swings. Too much heat. Too much food. (jk never too much food.) Not enough snuggling. Not enough game playing.

Time to slooow it down.

THE LAST FEW DAYS… living the dream and all that

FRIDAY

• dyed my hair

SATURDAY

• Took a final in 8 minutes
• JENNY OWEN YOUNGS

SUNDAY

• workworkwork

MONDAY

• bus to New York City
• THE COLBERT REPORT
• Junior’s

TUESDAY

• Empire State Building
• FAO Schwarz
• 5th Avenue Apple Store
• Central Park
• Times Square Shopping
• Shake Shack
• Cake Boss Cafe
• walkwalkwalking
• Macy’s

WEDNESDAY/TODAY

• no work due to snow

Did ever I blog about that time I got mild food poisoning after eating pizza at the congressional cafeteria when I was 8?

I should talk about that more. It was a big moment of my life. I think about it every time I see a TV show or movie about members of congress because I’m just like… “DON’T EAT THE PIZZA BRO.”

*

My best friend when I was 8 was a daughter of a congressman. We went to work with her dad one day for no reason other than to play with his wireless keyboard because it was 2000 and HOLY F—, WIRELESS KEYBOARDS your tax dollars at work, y’know???

I’m pretty sure this weird mood I’m in is because of the disgusting things I ate for dinner.

I’m going to eat some Starbursts and try to fall asleep early.

That is absolutely the correct solution, I am sure.

A customer e-mailed management thanking them for my “great customer service!!!” or whatever.

One of the managers then sent an e-mail to the entire sales staff saying “hey good job Shannon!!!” and I have to be kinda professional in thanking them when all I want to do is

TODAY

• Got 4.5 hours of sleep!
• My hair ended up super curly/wavy and was fun in my ponytail
• Early shift at work where I was either yelled at and treated with complete contempt or praised and thanked endlessly by customers
• I’m pretty sure the object of my desire is also a phantom
• Walked the pups with Mikey
• Tried to play indoor soccer with the dogs in the family room
• Found out we won’t be moving after all
• Finally beat the level of Candy Crush I’ve been stuck on for days
• Went on a candy haul to Giant for no specific reason except candy
• Ate 2 dinners (OH YEAH)

SO ALL IN ALL, PRETTY DAMN SUCCESSFUL

I’m so needlessly bitter about everything tonight and instead of coping with that, I’m just pissed off at being bitter and even more bitter about being pissed.

VICIOUS CYCLE.

WHAT MY DOCTOR TOLD ME TO DO: Exercise more, stay hydrated, add more salt to your diet and find something you’re interested in again.

WHAT I HEARD: Move a tiny bit more, drink salt water, find a new TV show.