Resnarks

I ASKED MY DAD TO GET PIZZA BAGEL BITES FOR A PARTY, he got 300 mini quiches.

Does he not understand that my friends and I like eating like 4 year olds?

Everyone is flipping their shit over the new Chipotle that opened nearby. I'm going to hurt someone if I'm subjected to yet another "OMG CHIPOTLE!" Facebook status.

THE MEAT IS MADE UP OF GROUND UP DEPORTEES, AND THE TORTILLAS ARE DOUSED IN COCAINE.

So perhaps I can understand the addiction and craving for it.. but.. ugh!

THEY TASTE LIKE SUGAR COOKIES.

Amazing.

Wow, you’re really goin’ at that hotdog like you know what you’re doin’.

“

—	Waitress, to my brother at Fuddrucker’s

jakeandamir:

Taste Test

Hey yogurt, if you’re so cultured, how come I never see you at the opera?

“

—	Stephen Colbert

It’s a Colorful World! - AmO Images

WANTS.

My friend Lauren made this adorable creation for extra credit in Photo as the “Edible Art” assignment.

AWESOME.

My friend Andy made this for me and a few other kids.

It was hands down one of the best cakes I’ve ever had, and totally made my day.

I just mixed sugar cookie dough with my hands. It exploded in my face. I am going to North Korea to nuke this shit. See you in a few years before Clinton can negotiate my release after highjacking a nuclear facility.

“

—

Nina