My mom insists she didn't intend for our heart to heart to take this kind of turn
Shannon: Well if being inoculated makes you rest easier, you're welcome for being tortured by the doctor.
Mom: Yes, I feel like I've done my job as a mother.
Shannon: Not quite. Not even that cervical cancer shot can keep me from going out and getting knocked up, you know.
Mom: Oh, please, you the girl who doesn't like the nasal spray stuck up her nose having stuck-
(WOW!)
What makes The Nuclear Family so special? Well, just like a real nuclear isotope, it’s incredibly stable. Plus, it’s a convenient shorthand for referring to a group of individuals. Think how much time it would take if we had to name each individual instead of simply saying “The Johnsons.” That’s time we could be spending with our families.
Fun Fact: My mom planned my C-section so I wouldn't be born on Columbus day.
My madre is a historian and abhors Christopher Columbus, so much so that she planned my C-Section to be on October 6—despite my due date being October 12, the 500th anniversary of Christopher Columbus’ arrival.
I love my mom.
Happy almost Columbus Day!
Too many people getting killed these days. Takes all the fun out of warfare.
Can you IMAGINE seeing a beaver as big as a bear?
My brother and I are doing a Reno 911! marathon before he leaves for his flight... in 4.5 hours.
Jackass is going back to school until December.
Depressed little sister to the max.
My brother likes chocolate chip cookies without the chocolate chips. Only. WHAT THE FUCK?!
He also hasn’t had a hamburger in over 15 years.
After an almost 17 year run, I've started getting REALLY annoyed with my mom/hating her a little bit.
My dad has totally infuriated me for years, and my mom and I have always been crazy tight… so it really sucks that now she pisses me off all the time. (I know I’m lucky to have ever had that at all and shouldn’t be whining… except this is an enormous change of pace for me and it’s difficult to deal with.)
And I’ve never lied to her, until now.
I lie to my dad all the time about frivolous crap. Mostly, it’s just blatant sarcasm. However, as far as he’s concerned, I’ve been PMS-ing for 17 straight months.
But with my mom, every time she asks “did I do something wrong?” or “would you mind if I watched TV with you?” or “am I annoying you?” (all pout-y, which is weak), I lie.
I know I’m lucky to have made it so long without being annoyed, not to mention, having really great parents, period, but this is such a huge change of pace. It’s difficult to deal with.
